23.12.2016 – Anxiety

Here is the article I’m about to start writing about.

It’s been an interesting few months, where anxiety has been an unexpected arrival into my life and reading this article really highlighted to me that I show a number of the traits mentioned.

I wouldn’t say I’ve got firm boundaries but I totally relate to sometimes feeling the need to be on my own but at the moment, some times being on my own is the main trigger for my anxiety because I don’t like being on my own to give me time to think. As for being the one to deligate plans and dodging making any decisions – Mr M will happily and passionately inform anyone that I’m useless at making any social plans. I’d rather stay at home and avoid being social completely as often, this seems the easiest option. But on the flipside of that, I’ll happily make decisions. It’s the social element I avoid.

They claim those with anxiety – notice the little things. I’d say that’s true or at least, I’m trying to be thankful (Yes, I know I’ve missed Thankgiving by a few weeks) for the things around us and trying to make the most of the events we see and get to do now. To expect the bond between me and friends to “run deep and grow quickly” – once you are in – you are in for life. I would have said this was true but actually, I’ve been recently introduced to the idea of transactional relationships – in that you pay in, and expect the account to stay in the black and not to become, overdrawn. It’s been hard to recognise that sometimes, I need to be slightly selfish and look after me.

As someone who’s coping with anxiety, I don’t want to listen, I don’t want to talk – I want to do. This next one; weird sleep patterns – insomnia, wakeful nights – some days, I really want to sleep and other days, I barely sleep and spend time draining my phone battery to entertain me until I drift off. I’m just struggling with the idea of what to do, which is where all the anxiety management techniques come out. Some of which I might eventually write about. Maybe…

I constantly worry if I’ve made the right choices or done the “right” thing. Logic goes out of the window and sometimes, you do just feel like you can’t do right for doing wrong and no matter what choice you make… It doesn’t work. Mr M spends his life reassuring me and letting me know I’m doing ok and it’s normal to feel how I feel however abnormal it makes us feel at the time. The stability of having a rock of a husband has been phenominal.

One of my favourite finds is the app Wunderlist – find it here – LISTS are the best thing ever! in that, it gives you a sense of achievement when you recognise what you have done but organises the idea of what you still need to do. Organisation and a sense of control really helps. Telling my other half honestly how much difference this made, other than the fact he gets constantly pestered with notification but helps the communication. I also have started to recognise that somethings I cannot control, or problems I cannot solve. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact I need to be ok with this. #workinprogress

Self care for you as well as your husband/wife/partner/parent/family is also vital to help cope with any form of anxiety.


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